Pain Killers: Getting off is hard to do...

A Week In The Life Of A Recovering Pill Addict


Matt posted in the comment section of the post entitled ” How Long Does Opiate Withdrawal Last?”. It was such a great comment that I felt everyone should read it and see what it’s like when you go through a  withdrawal. It can be done, you probably won’t die, you might feel like you wish you were dead but in the end everything will be ok.

I’d like to thank Matt for sharing his story…

Contributed by Matt, one of our readers.

After reading just about every single post here, I really felt I should contribute just in case my own information helps someone out there in the way that your information has helped me. So, first and foremost, THANK you ALL for everything that you’ve shared!

Back in September of 2007, I hurt my back pulling something out of the kitchen cupboard. I went to the doctor for it, remembering how much I loved Percocets back when I had my wisdom teeth extracted, and used my existing scoliosis as a tool to eventually convince the doctor to prescribe me Percocets monthly. I basically used charisma and lies to get it done. I never even considered the possibility of getting addicted. I just wanted to get high.

Over the following months, well… you know how it goes. You’re quickly buying off of people, doing whatever you can to not run out. I can honestly say that from September of 2007 to Sunday, August 28th (5 days ago), I never went through a day without some form of oxycodone. This is mostly due to my prescription increasing to 60mg OxyContin twice per day, with 120 10/325 Percocets monthly for breakthrough “pain.” This, combined with what I bought off the street, was enough to never run out, ever. My habit topped out at 240mg of oxycodone (in its various forms) per day.

Well, this last refill cycle, I decided to take a stand. I was tired of sitting alone on weekend nights just getting high and watching TV, sick of counting pills, sick of trying to think of excuses when I’d have sex without being able to finish (on the rare occasions where I had a sex drive at all!), sick of just about maxing out my credit cards because I was using cash to buy, sick of having no motivation to be active in any way, sick of declining plans if I didn’t have as many as I thought I’d need to get through those plans, sick of being constipated all the time (sometimes to the point of actual bleeding), sick of feeling like a zombie and not actually feeling real emotions anymore. What a horrible way to live! It’s not even living. It’s auto-pilot in a haze. It’s nothing. It’s brain death. It’s a vapid, soulless void with no love, no repercussions, no rewards, no compassion, no hope. Just a rinse/repeat life cycle that sucks you dry.

So, this past Sunday the 28th, I took my very last pill at 10:00pm, with my boss’s knowledge of what was going on and his blessing to be out on Monday and Tuesday only. I had to be back Wednesday. The type of job I have makes it VERY difficult to miss work, so this was a big deal. I had to make the best of it. I was armed with four .5 mg pills of Xanax, five sublingual strips of the 8mg/2mg Suboxone, and a wonderfully supportive woman who has never taken a pill in her life.


Monday the 29th: The worst day of my life. I had to make it to 10:00pm to pass the 24 hour zone and take my first Suboxone. I literally screamed into my pillow for 19 hours. Some of you talk about exercising, taking a walk, occupying yourself. I am amazed and happy for you! For me, there was NO way this was possible. I could barely even roll over in bed, let alone stand up on my own two feet. Aside from the restless legs, I could swear I could individually feel each cell in my bone marrow gnashing its little teeth and wailing. It was inSANE. Every few hours, I would take one of the .5 mg Xanax pills which would afford me about 30 minutes of sleep each. That’s it. Then it was back to hell again, until finally, 10:00pm rolled around and I took 4mg of Suboxone. Within 30 minutes, I was out like a light, and didn’t wake up until 4:30am, feeling “fine.” (read: medicated – the Suboxone is a drug, too, let’s not forget it!).

Tuesday the 30th: I basically laid around all day on the couch watching TV and feeling extremely lethargic. My energy level was probably at like 20%. In the evening, I took an 8 block walk, which was about my limit. I was asleep by 7:30pm, woke up at 11:30pm, fell asleep at 2:30am, and woke up at 6:00am on Wednesday. I don’t remember much else, but I can tell you that I did not take any Suboxone at all. This Tuesday was my first day opioid-free in 4 years.

Wednesday the 31st: I took 2mg of Suboxone at 7:30am because the heebie-jeebies were getting really intense now, and I HAD to go to work, participate in meetings, etc. I was “fine” all day. No real issues to report here. It’s incredible how far such a small amount of Suboxone (drugs! let’s be real) can go. Went to my first NA meeting, ever, at 7pm. Nice experience. Not sure I’ll keep going, though. But SUCH nice and understanding people. Fell asleep at 10:00pm, woke up at 4:00am. Not feeling great, but not feeling even close to Tuesday, let alone Demon Monday.

Thursday the 1st: I decided to NOT take Suboxone when I woke up, to see how long I could go. Pitter-pattered around from 4:00am until I got to work at 8:00am, and by the time I sat at my desk, I was so exhausted that I literally could not remove the foil top from the yogurt I brought in to eat. I had to use my teeth, because my arms were SO weak. How pathetic is that? But it’s completely true. I couldn’t even hold my head up. As soon as I realized my eyes were tearing and I was noticeably sneezing and everyone was basically looking at me dying, I took another 2mg of Suboxone because I knew I would not make it through the day at work. Then, of course, I was “fine.” After work, my girlfriend came over. This was the first time I had sex off of the oxycodone and, let me tell you, it was the best sex I had in 4 years. Did I last? NO. Haha. Suddenly, I actually have a sex drive and can feel sensations again! She was completely understanding, so we went at it two more times before bed. If there was any point during my recovery process where I was even more than 100% certain I was doing the right thing, it was then, and that’s why I’m mentioning it. Fell asleep at midnight (due to our activities), woke up at 4:00am (again, it seems 4:00am is a magic number for a lot of us!), and tossed and turned the rest of the way.

Friday the 2nd (today) – I did the same thing as yesterday, and the same thing happened at my work desk. I was falling apart, and did another 2mg of Suboxone. Got through the day “fine” (drugged on the Subs). Got home, and had enough energy to actually do my laundry. Now I’m sitting here at 9:37pm feeling alright, but I know it’s the Subs.

What will I do now? Well, no more Suboxone. This is luckily a three-day weekend (Labor Day), so from now onward, I take nothing other than potassium, Immodium, one-a-day multi vitamins, eat fruit, take showers, etc. But no more Suboxone. I only used it to make it through work. I’d ask “What should I expect?” but, guess what? It doesn’t really matter. It’s not like it’s going to change anything. I’m not going back to the pills. I’m not going back to that empty, hollow, lifeless “life.” If tomorrow will be like Monday again, then so be it. I will scream into my pillow until my throat goes raw, and I will be thankful for being able to feel it.

And until then, I will be looking forward to living my new life. A real life. The one where I crave sex, and feel emotions, and rely on nothing to make me happy but day-to-day experiences, conversations with strangers, a joke told over a delicious plate of food, maybe even just the food itself.

I can’t wait, and neither can you.

“If you’re going through Hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

Continuing the timeline:

Saturday the 3rd (yesterday) – Day 6. This was the first day of not using Suboxone. I woke up around 6:00am, walked 10 blocks to a coffee shop, and sat around for awhile trying to keep myself outside and active. I ended up going home after 2 1/2 hours, though, because people were talking to me and it was very difficult to focus. On top of that, the restless legs were getting the better of me, and they’re SO darned uncomfortable. I’ve been eating bananas and taking potassium supplements, and I guess they help, but the restless legs are still an issue, and it’s what causes me to sleep so little. When I got home from the coffee shop, I literally watched movies on my couch for 12 hours, finally going to bed at 11:00pm, though I didn’t fall asleep until 2:30am, and I only slept 3 hours.

Sunday the 4th (today) – Day 7. Woke up, had sex with my girlfriend, did my normal potassium / Immodium / Naproxen / multi-vitamin regimen, walked around the block to get myself moving, ate a banana, and treated myself to an hour long massage with focus on the legs to help with their restlessness. Afterwards, I went to a little cafe and ate a vegetable bagel sandwich. I didn’t much feel like hanging out, though, due to focus, so it’s 1:54pm and I’m home now. Probably going to relax and watch movies again. My energy level is extrEMEly low, and it makes me so lethargic, enough so that it’s just really hard for me to do anything at all. Even taking a shower, while feeling good, is a particularly taxing thing to do.

Even though this is Day 7 without various forms of oxycodone, it’s only Day 2 without Suboxone. I’m hoping that I make it over the hump soon. While my determination is unwavering, and while there’s no chance I’ll ever go back to the old life, I’m frankly sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

OK! Hi! I’m in MUCH better spirits today. The timeline:

Sunday the 4th part 2: After posting the above, I ended up taking a long hot bath/shower combo. Afterwards, I had a text on my phone inviting me to a Labor Day BBQ with some friends. I hadn’t been social for 7 days now, just wallowing on the couch feeling terrible, so I agreed to go. Drove the 45 minutes, hung out for only 2 hours, and went right back home. I just couldn’t handle the social situation yet. My brain was too foggy, my legs were going crazy and I felt like everyone might be staring, and just the act of moving my body felt like I was stuck in jello. I went home and went to bed early, like 9pm. I slept a full 6 hours!

Monday the 5th: Again, that jello feeling, just terrible still. I walked 10 blocks in the morning to a coffee shop, hung out for an hour, and walked the 10 blocks back. It’s funny, you know… getting yourself to the point where you start walking is darn near impossible, but once you actually start moving, it feels good. Still, my energy levels at this point were so low that afterwards, I collapsed on my couch, again, drifting in and out of that inconsequential, nourishment-less twilight-type sleep. Last night, I slept a total of 2 1/2 – 3 hours. Total.

Tuesday the 6th (today): This Day 9 is my turning point, I think. Unless the nasties return later or tomorrow! But it’s 7:34pm now. I haven’t had any form of oxycodone in 9 days, and no Suboxone for 4 days, and I actually had some energy today! I worked hard the whole day at my job and not once did I feel like I needed to lay down. I’ve eaten three meals, and even if I still have the runs, my appetite is awakening. So is my sexual appetite, although I really need to work on my endurance because I’m not used to all of those sensations.

I just wanted to make this Good News Update for everyone who may be reading out there, afraid of the process. Yes, of course it’s hard. Yes, you do have to accept that you are going to feel unwell for awhile. There’s an end, though! I know that I still have a ways to go to get to 100%, but let me tell you, 75% feels AMAZING.

Thanks again Matt for the contribution to the community..would love to hear comments…


Larry C.

Written by Larry C. - Visit Website
Get my Report on How to get off Painkillers with Suboxone HERE, It's only $14.97

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46 Responses to “A Week In The Life Of A Recovering Pill Addict”

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  1. Casey S says:

    Hello all this is my first time actually trying to get off pain meds I was in the army and was hurt while in the military I never really thought I was an addict until I started taking my entire 120 proscription in 3 days granted its only 10 mg hydro but I have a friend who has cancer and gives me 30 mg oxys and 80mg contins he has been a life long friend. Me girlfriend and I are kicking this together I’m fighting the erge every second to hit up one of my many pill dealers for some meds even more now because its Saturday and I’ve gotten my paycheck and my disability and can afford some outstanding meds haha but I’m not I’m taking 1 mg xanax to help with the withdrawal and this site has gave me some great advise on how to get through the hard times ahead thank you all so much!!! And I wish all of you the best of luck

  2. Larry Logan says:

    I am on day 5 of a Fentanyl withdrawal. I can not express how much this site has helped me get over the “hump” of the first five days. I never thought I would be one of those people addicted to opioids. It is so hard to talk to people that have not been there. Reading people’s posts on here everytime I was about to give in gave me strength to keep going. I consider every person that has made it through this hell a veteran of a war that no one would understand unless you have been there. Stay strong and keep fighting.

  3. Ivy says:

    I take two 750mg Hydros for pain a day. Sometimes I need 3 leaving me short at like most people are when they really need one for pain. I also take two.1 Xanax for pain a day due to panic anxiety disorder, and other “things a day. I find myself constantly running short and then “IT” begins. I can’t sleep no matter what. I have went 6 days without sleep and started hallucinating and went into psychosis. I always call it my getting sick time and don’t know what to do. I have went 12 days without anything (once) and nothing got better. The pain was so severe I couldn’t stand it, I couldn’t eat, sleep, barely made it to the bathroom and forget about seeing anyone. Is this normal for this and I don’t want to say small amount of meds to minimize it, but I have taken the x’s for 14 years (same dose) and the pain meds for about 12. I feel normal when I take my meds, the pain leaves, the panic attacks stop (they are real and very severe, all my life) but I wonder if I stop and try again, can I ever feel “normal” again. I do want to say that I donot feel high at all when I take my medication, I just feel normal. Life is normal. I don’t know what to do. Although I will say the anxiety is still here no matter what I use the Xanax for the panic attacks and intermittent anger syndrome. (I am pretty much an agoraphobic and have been like this since I was 22) Can someome please help me?

  4. Mike says:

    Hello everybody. This is my first time posting about opiate withdraw. I’ve been an addict for 10 years and I’m 29 years old. This is my 3rd time trying to quit. My drugs of choice were Oxycontin, K8 dilaudid (oxymorphone), morphine, and when i couldn’t get opiates meth or cocaine. Well this was tearing me apart and i lost everything. So i went to a methadone clinic, which i was happy with at first but eventually all my motivation and energy was gone and i would bleed when crapping. I went to a methadone maintenace program for 3 years. I was at 130 mg’s. Over the course of 2 years i would go down in my dose which was hard the addict in me wanted more, but i would just think of my daughter and push forward. You have to want to quit to do this, it’s mentally and physically draining, i had horrible thoughts of suicide. Well this is my 11th day clean and it still sucks but it’s better now than it was 2 days ago. Here’s some tips for helping you through withdraw that i found after many hours of research. Get brand name immodium, it has a low amount of opiates in it to stop the diahrea. It’s crucial to stay hydrated, if u have diahrea you dehydrate quickly and feel even worse. Drink lots of gatorade, i wash my sheets everynight cuz i lay in bed and sweat severly and the electrolytes in gatorade are neccassary. Sweating is ur bodys way of getting the toxins out, you want to sweat so drink lots of water/gatorade. I cannot stress that enough. Also it’s very hard to exercise, so instead i turn on youtube and find the song “i think we’re alone now” by tiffany and dance like no 1’s watching for 20-30 minutes. Get atleast 20 minutes of exercise other wise don’t bother. Your heart gets no benefiets until after 15 minutes of exercise is the reason i say that. It gets my heart rate up and get me sweating and best of all i don’t have to leave my house. Also go outside and get an 30 minutes of sunshine, the sun gives us energy and makes us happy. I usually walk around the driveway reading the news paper. Also if you have a GNC around get L-tyrosine, it helps restore your brains neurotransmitters, so if u start takin this right when you withdraw you can skip the 3rd phase where you still have depression. L-tyrosine also gives you energy and helps you lose weight. Now the crazy legs and stomach cramps are the worst cuz you cannot sleep at all! For this I personally used some high grade marijuana i got illegally. It helped me sleep through those impossible times and it would numb the pain. I would find myself laughing at how miserable i was. It was either laugh or cry, and it’s better to laugh it creates endorphines. Also finding some 1 who cares about you to talk to helps a great deal. I don’t have any 1 but I use the forums and everybody is very encouraging. Although this stuff helps ease the symptoms it does NOT cure them, the only way to get though this is time. And every time you relapse it’s just starting all over, all that pain and suffering for nothing. Music is great to get your mind of things or a movie. You have to distract yourself from the symptoms or you wont make it trust me. Do not lay there and think of how miserable you feel. For example when I’m in bed and can’t sleep with the crazy legs i turn on my side and rotate my legs like I’m peddling a bike. That’s light exercise which you must be doing throughout the day. It’s hell but opiate withdraw is NOT permanent. You may crave drugs for a long time but this will ease as the months go by. So I hope this all helped some 1 like you all have helped me. YOU CAN DO THIS!

    1. Mike says:

      Oh yeah pre mature ejactulation is a symptom of withdraw, so masturbate or have sex. It’s a natual high and can help you get through a ruff morning or night.

      1. Mike says:

        And for those wondering I did use intravaneously. (Needles)

  5. dip says:

    Ok, so this is day three for me. I was doing various, more potent, opioids- ranging from opana, methadone, and dilaudid. I was IV’ing for a while, but quit that (thank god) and switched to methadone for a couple months.

    After quitting the methadone, I switched back to the Opanas (insufflated), and then to hydro/oxycodone. The reason I did this was to get the damn long-acting methadone off of my receptors and replace it with the shorter acting, less potent, “true” opiates.

    It seems to have worked, as the WDs aren’t nearly as bad as when I tried to stop the methadone cold turkey.

    However, I am an Honors level college student and am falling VERY FARR behind in my homework due to not having the energy/patience to focus, let alone retain anything I read.

    Can anyone give me an estimate as to when I will start to feel happy doing anything at all?

    The physical symptoms are a pain in the ass, but it’s the mental woes that burn me the most. I just have ZERO drive, motivation, or energy. It seems that I will never be happy doing anything again without these damn things.

    Never been to an NA meeting before but seriously considering it just so I can get some feedback as to how long I can expect to start feeling better.

    I am able to force myself to exercise, but the resulting soreness from the workouts are just making it even harder to move…


    1. Larry C. says:

      Hey Dip, your comment about wanting to be happy again, is what kept me GOING BACK to opiates, because I wanted to be happy again. I went on suboxone after having the PAWS, post acute withdrawal syndrome, which is what you are starting to go through. but like methadone it’s a partial opiate and a mother fucker to get off for some people. and very painful. You’re at day three, you’re about through the hardest part of it all. it will start to get better, but the only thing, naturally that will help is execise. get those endorphins going again, that;’s what makes us happy and alleviates depression. also I recommend getting the Melissa Supreme drops, this will also alleviate much of the uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms and help with your nerves.

  6. Sandi says:

    Amazing what I’m reading, I never realized how difficult it is to stop taking pain medication.

  7. Jen says:

    Today is day 3 of no oxycodone, or tabs. I’m taking valium 5s when it gets too unbearable. Today I’ve only had 1. I hate everything and everyone. Although my fiance is doing this with me and that support helps a lot. He actually worked today but went off on I think 5 ppl. I took the day off and wed will be my first day back and I’m scared to death. I am determined to never go back to this hell again!! On a positive note I can’t eat so may shed some lbs. Anyway just thankful for this outlet cause very few ppl know of my shameful little secret

    1. Larry C. says:

      welcome and feel free to rant all you want. 🙂 that’s what we’re here for.

      1. Jen says:

        Thank u. I hope I’m good by wed as I work. Then work a double thurs then Friday is doc day an hr away with my son. Sat is my daughters bday. I’m overwhelmed & pissed that my fiancee is feeling good actually its encouraging. Big prob is we have 19 tabs left and I know this because I counted them today almost took 1 decided not to which I’m proud of but am scared I’m gonna take some to get thru my week when I have to do all this stuff

        1. Larry C. says:

          Day three right now, you might be ok by then, but the work might be good for you to keep your mind off what you’re going through.

          1. Jen says:

            Day 4… Last night slept a few hrs woke up feeling ok. Decided to only take vitamins immodium and motrin. That worked till 1pm. I went thru rage then uncontrollable crying. Decided a valium was needed. I’m thankful my fiancee is doing great and is super supportive. I am nervous to go to work tmrw. I work with a lot of ppl who use. I’m also excited to see what I can do without the meds as wed is our busy day. I’m hoping for some amazing sex tonight. That should help the sleeping too

  8. nikki says:

    Thank you everyone, I’m on day four and a stay at home mom with a two year old. Needless to say I’m ready to scream, but i know it will be worth it

    1. Larry C. says:

      yes it is worth it. to have your life back, and for your cchild to have aloving mommy.

  9. kim says:

    I’m so tired. Monday was my last morphine. Might’ve been Tuesday. I made it through Wednesday but yesterday I thought I was gonna die & I found a vicodin. I took half. It just made me tired. I should’ve napped then but I have a 10 year old & I felt so guilty. Now I’ve been up for hours. Its 3am. Seriously, how the hell am I supposed to get through tomorrow? My friggen legs are killing me, I’m sweating & freezing. Is that even possible? My husband will be up for work in an hour. He has no idea what I’m going through. No, as much as I cry & want to tell someone and beg for help, I absolutely cannot. I’m just tired.

    1. Larry C. says:

      why can you “absolutely cannot”? You need support. wouldn’t it be best to have the support of the ones who love you?
      have you subscribed to the newsletter? it’s only 7-8 emails and I think you might find it very helpful, especially the natural recipe to help with opiate withdrawal. It will help with the mood swings, depression, and sleeplessness.
      I’d also suggest reading the comments from the posts such as this one:

      good luck and check back and update us.

      1. kim says:

        Hi again. To answer your question it would’ve absolutely been better to have support. These last few days have been so hard. But, I knew you were pulling for me. I took my last morphine Tuesday. And I don’t mean my last like I ran out & had to quit, I just wanted to. I took half a vicodine Thursday hoping it would help, (it didn’t) . I still haven’t slept but with my lethargy, vomiting, muscle cramps etc, the flu has been my cover. Stupid & it sucks so bad to be alone with all the shame but I made this mess. I will clean it up. So, I still haven’t slept but after reading your other stories (thank you Matt & John, seriously, I think you helped save me) I think sleep should come soon. I have melatonin. I will try that tonight. Last time I took it I was really groggy the next day. I don’t want to steal John’s words but Friday was DEFINATELY Demon Friday. In bed, in agony, all day. Yesterday. I was feeling pretty good in the evening & thought maybe I would sleep but after 2 hours, I was up & in pain. If sleep was easier, this would’he been easier. I know, I know, Melissa. But by the time I committed myself to doing this, it was too late. I couldn’t get out of bed, forget about driving!

        1. kim says:

          Oh yeah, thanks Larry 🙂 I have some future questions. I will ask them tomorrow. Wish me luck.

        2. Larry C. says:

          order it online, from amazon or any place else that can ship quickly…

          1. kim says:

            Ok, its been the longest 12 days of my life. I’m finally sort of sleeping. Not like I was but at least I’m getting rest. I wish more than anything that I had more energy. I’m taking a multi vitamin & liquid B-complex. My question is, I swear, I don’t want to go back. Now, heaven forbid, lets say, I break my legs tomorrow. If I need pain meds, do I take them? If I take them for a week, will the withdrawal be as bad?

  10. james says:

    i have been using painkillers for about 2 years started with percocets and evenualy moved to oxycotin. i was using 120mgs a day [two 60’s] i decided it was enough and quit cold turkey. little did i know how bad it was going to be. i never quit before or research before i did and let me tell you it was HELL…. but after about 2 weeks i was back to normal. but like most addicts i returned using vicodin up to 3-4 per day. i have decided enough is enough im sick of these drugs controlling my life and draing my bank account. its day 4 NO PAINKILLERS !!!!! the withdraw isnt as bad as oxycotin but not fun. all of your storys are helping me push through. thank you and godbless….

  11. NoName says:

    I am coming off Tramadol. F*** it is hard. I am down to 1 a day now. From a a max of 8-10 a day prescribed for pain. This drug is a joke. Docs need to calm down with prescribing this to people. Pain is better managed via PT (Exercise) and NSAIDS.

    This drug causes spasms and causes bad depression if it is stopped – it is nasty.

    Drug companies love these drugs have you seen how much money they make on them!!! They should be forced into collecting a small sum from them to give to people to help detox. This one way door on these oh come in have plenty and then when you want off them your all alone is a disgrace.

    1. Laura says:

      I am coming off of 10 years of tramadol use myself. Of course taking much more than the prescribed dose for the past 5 years. Not to mention 3 percocet a day. Tramadol is a scary, disgusting drug, I agree. And doctors don’t believe me when I tell them this. I have had no help from doctors. I am having to wean myself down because it is impossible to just stop taking them. I barely function even with weaning off actually. I am thirty years old and my mother locks up my pills and gives me a certain amount each day, thank the goodness for her because I could not do it without her. I do not have money for rehab. I have been through alot in my life, but weaning off tramadol is the most difficult thing I have had to do. I hate this drug! All of these posts are so helpful to me. I appreciate people sharing their stories. I couldn’t help but post one myself…

  12. John says:

    I was in a car accident 9-20-10 a drunk driver hit me doing 80mph I was so fortunate to survive the accident I woke up about 8 hours later in the hospital and they started giving me all the pills. Percs, vicoden, and morphine. I started off taking as prescribed and slowly got to eating about 8-10 thousands a day more than I needed but I craved them. After about a year I was so mad at myself for letting me get myself into this situation, but it still took about 6.5 months to decide it was time to stop. I knew I had 3 days off this week and got my boss to let me take my 2 days off the next wee altogether so I have 5 days to kick this. I have not slept but 5 minutes here and there I’m exhausted and my lower back feels so much pressure and uncomfortable. I have not yet had one craving for any pain killers cause I’m done. I had always been the life of the party while sober and now avoid people cause I was always messed up. Been very difficult taking care of a 3 yr old going through this used Xanax to try and sleep but no did not work just made me feel worse. Don’t know if this pressure in my back is from the withdraw or the accident. They told me surgery is only true way to fix me but at 29yrs old NO surgery. Have had cortisone shots but don’t know if they truly worked cause I was always on these darn drugs. Going cold turkey. I never liked the pills it was just a cravinging I hated everything about them in the beginning I used them for pain then just got to craving them. Today is Easter and day number 3 I still have 2 days off then back to work on Wednesday wish me luck everyone. And I hope all of you the best as well this sucks

    1. Larry C. says:

      Good Luck John.
      Get some Melissa like in the recipe and that will help you to get some sleep. Sleep is the one thing that eludes people withdrawing. The pain in your back is most likely right now from the withdrawal but I can’t say for sure, I am not a doctor but I do know that back pain is a major symptom of withdrawal. It should reside in a few days. Also drink some Lemon water to help detox your body and alleviate the pain, fresh lemon juice of one lemon per glass of water, not juice from a jar. Subscribe to the newsletter to get the recipe or get it here:
      drink lots of water adn go for walks each day, several times a day.
      Check back and let us know your progress. Read the comments too.

    2. John says:

      Today is day #6 and I’m back to work. I work in sales so I have to talk to people through out the day working 12 hour days. I don’t feel the greatest since I haven’t really slept at all I tried many different things to help sleep nome have worked, but I always have difficulty sleeping. Getting to sleep and staying asleep. Just wanted to post today and say it sucks but I have 2 choices take them or don’t, and I choose to not take them. I know life feels like hell right now but it won’t a year from now and if it still does a year from now it won’t 10 years from now. I always lived in the moment my entire life and that has gotten me into much trouble over the years. I’m ready to be sober and clean thinking again for the first time since I was 13. not always pills many different drugs always quit those when I felt it was time and now it’s time to quit these. I’m 30yrs old and ready for my new life. Just want to thank everyone for there stories.

      1. Larry C. says:

        John, you’re only on day 6, give yourself a break. This aren’t going to be completely better in 6 days but at 10 you should feel much better. Did you get any of the Melissa? It will help you feel better.

        1. John says:

          I did. It didn’t really help me sleep any that is my only real issue with all of this is sleep. The body aches stopped after day 3 mostly. I just can’t sleep so the days drag on. I know this is only day 6 and I still have a long way to go mentally. I feel as if the body stuff has passed. I’m one of those people that never believed in addiction just thought it was week minded, but I see how something can grab you so fast before you even realize it. I feel ok in the body just need sleep. But I’m optimistic about all of this. I’ve been seeing a therapist for about 4 months for cronic pain, and I’ve been keeping her very informed on my attitude since day 1 and how my body feels. I know all of this will pass I’m just very upset at myself. People tell me not to be but I find it hard not to be upset at myself. I’ve also been very open and honest with all my family and doctors about this. I believe honesty is the key to kicking something cause we all now how we lied about the pills to ourselves and others. At least I was dishonest especially to myself. But work day is over half way over then home to get rest and start a new day tomorrow. Thanks Larry I might sound rude just grouchy sorry.

          1. Larry C. says:

            I’d be fuckin grouchy AND rude at day #6 . 🙂
            Hang in there…

            1. John says:

              Lol thank you for that.

              1. John says:

                Day number 7 all I want is sleep got about 2 hours worth last night. I figure this has to be coming to the end of this no sleep any day now. Haven’t craved a pill or high at all just sleep.

                1. John says:

                  Day #8 I finally slept last night a full 8 hours. Still Tiried feeling but now my constant migrain is gone. Back is still hurting but not like it was the first 3 days, this is probally my pain level I will stay at from the car accident and I’m ok with that I will use ibuprofen for the pain. So far today is the best day I have had and a few more nights of good rest and I will be on my way. It has sucked but I’m in the best mood I’ve been in.

                  1. John says:

                    I know it’s only day 8 but man I feel great! I finally slept last night. I’m tiried right been at work since 9am, but got on here and read some more post and seeing all the success stories just make me happy. I’m glad I found this website just like everyone else is. Thanks Larry you have given some great advice on here. Thank God as well the day 1st day I quit I went to church and prayed and confessed to god and ask home to have mecy on me and give me the strength I needed. If I could give any advice it would be talk to god you can always talk to him and say anything you want even things you don’t want to say to friends or family. God bless and good luck to everyone on here I’m going to stop posting daily now and just check in every week for the next month unless I’m feeling week then I’ll be right back daily. God bless

                    1. John says:

                      Well it’s been a little over 2 weeks now. Haven’t had one craving for any pain killers at all. I’m sleeping. Back still hurts but I’m ok with that. Thinking more clearly. I enjoy my natural energy I have. Yesterday spent time with friends and family and I was back to being the life of the party. I enjoy not being a zombie in my own head. The first couple of days was the worst now I feel great. Anyone can do it and you will feel so much better. God bless everyone.

                    2. John says:

                      3 weeks now feeling great no urges for those devils. I know I got this.

                    3. John says:

                      Just wanted to stop by and say still clean best thing I’ve ever done I feel great. Don’t feel like a zombie no more, and I have real emotions. I’m so happy and not drug happy either. Best thing you will ever do is kick the habit.

  13. dee rm says:

    A few years ago I was highly addicted to oxycoton. Taking 3-6 60-80 mg a day just to function. Came off those cold turkey. Layed In bed for days. Then like a fool a year and a half ago, started taking loritabs. About 6-8 a day. Just to feel like I could move. I would get out of bed and immediately pop one. I have decided to stop. So I slowly started takin less. Now I’m down to none. First day of none. My night was horrible. I kicked and kicked. Took 5 sleeping pills and a 10 mg ambien. Finally fell asleep. I can get through the days sort of ok. It’s the nights that are horrible. So hard to go to sleep. Legs feel like jello, tingly, kicking and crying. Try to get up to walk but beyond exhausted. I know if I could do if before. I can do it again. I don’t want my days to revolve around how many can I take today so I won’t run out tomorrow.

    1. Larry C. says:

      Get yourself some Melissa tincture and some bananas, they will help. Sleeping pills don’t really help with this type of sleep deprivation and taking too many can result in death or overdose.
      Good luck and keep checking in to let us know how yo are doing.

  14. Jamie says:

    Ive ordered it and the valerian from the internet. The drugstore here didnt have any so hopefully it comes in before next Thursday. Thanks again Larry

  15. Jamie says:

    I just began Vitamin B complex (a liquid form that they say is like getting an injection) Potassium and magnesium. Im taking stress tab vitamins and Posture D. I plan to take these for a week and then next Thursday start my withdraw. I am so tired of needing these pills to exist. Im tired of spending money I dont have and getting farther and farther behind on bills. Im tired of worrying when im close to running out. Im tired of going through a few days of withdraw every month. Im tired of needing more and more to even feel it (or not to feel everything else) I am at my witts end. Im not looking forward to it of course but I know I can beat this. Thank you for sharing your story It has gaven me some hope!!

    1. Larry C. says:

      make sure you get the melissa for sure.

  16. Kat says:

    Wow how pathetic am I its been a full 4 days of no opiates and I decided to go on line ane do “research” ha looking really to figure out how long I’m going to go threw this I was looking at this site and reading the posts and thought too bad none of this is recent (for some stupid reason I kept looking at the dates of the posts and thought it was nov 2012) talk about being out of it I am going to keep reading It makes me feel better I’ll tell my story soon as I can get off the pity pot and organize my thoughts better thanks god i found you my brain is mushy got to get it firmed up

  17. I am on day 8 of Tramadol withdrawal and while doctor’s will say it is non-addictive, they are dead wrong! I have been taking this drug for eight years on a daily basis for chronic leg pain. Like Matt, my life has come down to no fun! The very last straw for me was the Grand Mal seizure that it gave me 8 days ago. I am not a fool and will NEVER take that stuff again. It is comforting to know that this battle can be won. This too shall pass folks. Good luck to us all!

  18. Brook Evans says:

    thanks to all who share their stories. i am on day 9 with no opiates mainly methadone, but i would take whatever i could get my hands on. the anxiety and depression were taking me over and i was about to give in to the demon again until i read your stories!!!! thank you!

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